A Day to Remember, a Night They'd Like to Forget
by Neal Wolf
Summary: Part 5 of a series. Chip and Gadget's wedding... but if you think everything will go smoothly, you've never met the Rescue Rangers! Includes guest appearances by characters from "Over the Hedge"


**Prologues**

Flash and Canina sat in their respective dressing rooms, the former a bit more patiently than the latter, listening intently to the conversation out in the hallway between their vet and their director.

"Well, the good news is it's nothing too serious; they've both just contracted the canine equivalent of the flu," said the doctor. He was lying, and both of the eavesdroppers knew it; Dr. Al Drake was a speaker, and they'd already filled him in on what was really going on.

"What's the bad news?" the director asked skeptically.

"The bad news, as you put it, is that I'd prefer they stay at my office until they're well, probably no more than a few days," Al replied.

"I thought you said it wasn't that serious..."

"It isn't," Al assured him, "but the chance of complications is higher for dogs than it is for humans, and I want to keep that chance to a minimum".

The director thought a moment, then sighed. "How much is this going to cost us?"

"Nothing, at least nothing extra; this sort of thing is in my contract with the network. Besides, I understand you're ahead of schedule for shooting."

"How did you...?" The director cut himself off. "Never mind; you're right. Okay... take care of our stars, and give us a call when you're ready to bring 'em back, so we can be ready to roll again."

"Way to go, Al," Flash said under his breath with a grin.

* * *

Emperor Dim Sun slipped quietly into his bed chamber with a sigh. "Affairs of state make me so sleepy... it is difficult to focus." He smiled as his eyes fell upon his pet nightingale, but the smile soon faded. "You look sad, Chirp-Sing; whatever could be wrong?"

Chirp-Sing whistled the tune of a song as old as the valley itself: a tale of dear friends, and the pain of being separated from them. Dim Sun nodded. "There are friends you miss. Is there some way I can help?"

The nightingale then sang a very different song, far more upbeat. The emperor listened for a moment, then smiled. "I know that one! I believe I also know a way to cheer you up." Part way across the room, a large gong sat with a mallet leaning against it. Dim Sun picked up the mallet and struck the gong as hard as he could; his three ministers quickly filed into the room.

"You called for us, O Wise One?" one of them asked.

"I did indeed," Dim Sun told them. "Make all of the necessary arrangements; I wish to visit New York City. Chirp-Sing will accompany me."

"At once, Excellency," a second minister replied as Chirp-Sing twittered happily.

* * *

Monterey Jack sat at the kitchen table, staring at a rather long list; the look on his face made it clear that he didn't like what he saw. The list in question was the guest list for Chip and Gadget's wedding, now two days away, and he was beginning to regret his offer to cater the reception. "Croikeys, how'm oi gonna come up with enough food for this many people?" he thought aloud.

"Somethin' wrong, Monty?" a lilting female voice asked from the doorway. "You're usually not in here this long after breakfast, unless you're planning something big for lunch."

The Australian mouse started, then smiled a bit as he looked up. "Oh, 'allo Tammy, Nathaniel. 'ow's the guest quarters situation lookin'?"

"The nightingale you mentioned arrived last night," the male squirrel replied. "He was the last one we were expecting, aside from Chip's parents, and I'm pleased to report that all of the expected out-of-town guests are settled in comfortably."

"Thanks again fer puttin' ev'ryone up, lad," said Monty with a nod. "We've got some guest quarters 'ere, as you know, but not near enough for this big a lot."

Nathaniel waved a paw dismissively. "The cave I'm living in is big enough to accommodate humans; it's really no trouble."

"Seems like you're having some, though," Tammy added, seating herself across from the burly Aussie.

"Aye," Monty sighed after a moment. "When oi offered ta cater the reception, oi didn' know there'd be this large a group ta cater for; oi'm not sure oi c'n do it, 'specially in two days."

Nathaniel shrugged as he stood behind Tammy, his paws rested on her shoulders. "So why not simply hire a caterer?"

"Ol' Monterey Jack's a mouse'a his word, mate; if oi say oi'm gonna do sumthin', oi do it. B'sides, oi don' wanna let Chippah an' Gedjit down..."

"You wouldn't be, Monty," a new voice entered the conversation, this one Gadget's, who had apparently been standing in the doorway listening. "Just the fact that you're giving me away during the ceremony in my father's place is more than I could ever thank you for. Also, if you go out and hire a caterer for us, you're still keeping your word to take care of it."

"Nate an' I'll go with you; there's gotta be someone in town who can pull it off."

"It would seem to me that the father of the bride should get to be able to enjoy the reception as much as anyone else, even if he is a substitute..."

Monty stood up, snatching the list from the table. "All roight, then; Rescue Raynjahs, away!"

* * *

Late afternoon found the trio of Rangers in somewhat lessened spirits as they left the latest of several small animal caterers they'd visited. "Man, I don't believe this," Tammy grumbled. "Seems like we've been to every caterer in town, and nobody will take the job."

"If it isn't that the event's too soon, it's that the guest list is too large," Nathaniel put in, "or too diverse, or too some other excuse..."

"Buck up, you two," Monty tried to sound hopeful. "There's still one more place we 'aven't troied yet, an' it's just a block down the street."

A raccoon looked up and smiled as the three rodents entered their destination. "Hi, welcome to C. LaRice Catering, no job's too big for us! What can we do for you today?"

Monty handed the raccoon the guest list. "We've got a weddin' reception what needs food th' day after tomorrow. As you c'n see, it's a big'un."

The raccoon whistled as he looked over the guest list. "You ain't kiddin'. Who's the happy couple?"

"Chip Maplewood and Gadget Hackwrench," Tammy told him.

"You mean the Rescue Rangers??" the raccoon's eyes lit up. "This is for the Rescue Rangers' wedding? Hot dog, I was hopin' you guys'd come here! Don't you worry about a thing. We'll have to close up the shop to get everything ready in time, but it's worth it; just drop the address in our mail slot some time tonight or tomorrow, and I promise you a reception you'll never forget!"

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Nathaniel interrupted, "but how much is all this going to cost?"

"Are you kiddin'?" the raccoon chuckled. "This one's on the house; bein' able to say we catered the Rescue Rangers' wedding is the best free advertising we could hope for."

The raccoon smiled brightly as the Rangers left, but his smile changed to a sly grin once the door closed behind them. "Job's done, boss; they're gone."

"Well done, RJ," a female voice said from the shadows. "Your payment's out back: one wagon-load of food."

"You got the Spuddies, right?" asked RJ, setting the guest list on the counter.

"Everything you listed is there, as we agreed," the female assured him. "Oddly enough, I also intend to keep your promise to them."

"What promise?" RJ raised an eyebrow, then a chill shot down his spine hearing the tone of his employer's response.

"This will _definitely_ be a reception they'll never forget..."

* * *

Monty whistled to himself as he strolled down the street, the address for Chip and Gadget's wedding in one hand. Years of adventuring had trained him to remain aware of his surroundings; this fact allowed him to note the opossum in the tree above him just as the marsupial fell from a branch. Acting on reflex, he positioned himself to catch the opossum, getting the wind knocked from him on impact as reward.

"Oh... what hap..." She then noticed what... or _who_... she'd landed on. "Ohmygosh, are you okay?"

"Oi've 'ad worse blows an' walked away," Monty assured her, picking himself up and retrieving the address. "Wot 'appened?"

"I don't know," the opossum told him. "I was just drifting off to sleep one second, and the next, here I am." She then shrugged. "Guess my tail slipped."

"Maybe ya need ta be a bit more careful where ya take a snooze, lass," said Monty with a chuckle. "Ol' Monterey Jack moight not be around ta catch ya next toime."

"Thanks, Mr. Jack," she grinned. "I'm Heather."

"Pleased ta meet'cha, Heather, an' jes' Monty is foine by me." He then seemed to remember his errand. "You'll 'ave ta excuse me, lass; oi need ta drop this off at th' caterer's."

As Monty continued on his way, Heather glanced at him to ensure he wasn't looking, then looked across the street to another tree. A raccoon sitting on one branch lowered the binoculars he was holding and gave her a thumbs-up signal.

Early that same afternoon, Foxglove and Tammy were in Gadget's bedroom, helping the bride-to-be pack for her honeymoon. "It's fine, Gadget, really," Tammy said for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm flattered just to be a bridesmaid; Fox being Maid of Honor is totally up to you."

"I just want you to understand that it's nothing against you," replied Gadget.

"I know it isn't," Tammy assured her. "With Dale as Chip's Best Man, Fox is the more logical choice."

"I'm just glad we were able to find a dressmaker that could allow for Foxy's wings."

"You and me both," the bat chuckled. "Come to think of it, the fitting was the first time I've seen either of you in a dress."

"Haven't had a reason to wear one," Tammy shrugged.

Gadget blushed slightly. "I actually do own two of them, but I'm more comfortable in my coveralls. Besides, Chip and Dale had to have their eyes shoved back into their heads last time I wore one... well, the one both of them got to see me in..." At the curious looks from her companions, the inventor continued. "I've only worn the other one once, the night we went to pick Chip up from Washington. Dale's never seen it."

"All I know is that the guys are gonna flip when they see us tomorrow," said Tammy with a sly grin.

Just then, a knock came from the bedroom door. "Gadget, are you busy?"

The mouse looked up and smiled. "Come on in, Mrs. Maplewood."

The door opened to reveal a middle-aged chipmunk in a simple dress. "Honey, you're going to be my daughter-in-law in a little over a day; you can call me Denise."

"Your room okay, Mrs. M?" asked Tammy.

"Yes, Charles and I are settled in quite well, thank you, dear," the older chipmunk smiled. She then sat down on the bed beside Gadget, draping an arm across her shoulders. "Gadget, I just want to let you know how happy I am for you and my boy, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always glad to listen."

"Golly, thank you, Mrs. ..." Chip's mother arched an eyebrow. "Um, Denise. My own mom passed away when I was very little, so I've kind'a had to go by instinct as far as being a woman. I mean, my dad tried, but..."

Denise pulled her into a hug. "Don't you give it another thought, dear. Considering I've never seen Chip as happy as he is now, you must be doing something right."

"Just what she does best," Foxglove giggled, "bein' our sweet, lovable absent-minded professor."

Tammy nodded with a grin. "Yeah; I think the only way Chip could love her more is if she ran around in a Sherluck Jones outfit..." She stopped and glanced over at the suitcase, a sinister grin creeping into her lips. "Hmm..."

"TAMMY!" Gadget and Foxglove yelled in unison, Denise stifling a giggle.

The young squirrel just shrugged. "It's just a thought..."

* * *

"It was just a thought," the small, green-clad creature told his host innocently, "spruce the place up a bit, y'see..."

Nathaniel scratched behind one ear, trying to find the right words. "It's not that I don't appreciate the effort, Mr. Spree..."

"No need for formalities, boyo; Darby's just fine."

"Darby, then," the squirrel magician continued. "It's just that..."

"Too-ra-loo!" Monty chuckled, entering with Chip and Dale beside him. "You been doin' some redecoratin', Nathaniel lad? Place looks loike the insoide'a Blarney Castle!"

"This wasn't my doing," Nathaniel replied sourly.

Chip just grinned. "Three guesses who did." He then stepped up and shook hands with the leprechaun. "Hi, Darby."

"Begorra, but it's good t'be seein' ye again, laddies," Darby smiled, "especially for such an important occasion".

Dale looked around in surprise. "Wowie-zowie, this place is neat! Any humans who poke their noses in here are gonna wonder what's up, though."

"Aye, I dinnae think o'that." The leprechaun waved his hands, and the cavern returned to its natural state, eliciting a surprised yelp from one corner. "Whoops, sorry, birdie."

"It is quite all right," said Chirp-Sing, dusting himself off. "I have never had my perch simply vanish from beneath me, though."

Nathaniel sighed, shaking his head. "Now I remember why I usually don't have house guests..."

* * *

"I still don't see why we don't just go after them now," a deep, resonant voice said from one corner of the room.

"Yeah," another voice, this one female, agreed. "We've each got scores to settle with those Rangers; why bother with this whole catering scam?"

The boss leaned forward on the desk she sat behind, steepling her fingers. "Quite simple, my friends: this way, we can get close to them when they least expect it... and crush them all in one fell stroke."

* * *

Early the next afternoon, Zipper buzzed this way and that in his miniature tuxedo, escorting guests to their seats. It was a big job for a little fly, given the number of guests, but since he was the only one available as an usher, he went about his task happily.

In the tent at the back of the rows of seats that served as the ladies' dressing room, Foxglove was putting the final touches on Gadget's hair. "I snuck a peek at the guys a little while ago; those tuxes they got look great!"

Gadget glanced up at the bat nervously. "No offense, but please tell me Dale isn't wearing _his_ suit..."

Foxglove just giggled. "Nah, Chip convinced him to wear a regular tux in exchange for him getting to pick out the music for the ceremony."

At this, Gadget rolled her eyes. "Great, I'll be walking down the aisle to _Iron Goose's Greatest Hits_..."

A wing rested on the inventor's shoulder. "Relax, I helped him... and I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised."

The mousess patted the wing and smiled, then adjusted her gown as she stood. "I still don't really see the point in all this. I mean, Chip and I would love each other just as much if I married him in my coveralls."

"Oh come on, Gadj," said Tammy, folding her arms across her chest. "This is the biggest day of your life; it needs a few frills."

Off in one corner, Bink sat in her flower girl's dress, pouting. "I still say it's not fair," she grumbled. "You guys all have boys to walk back up with you at the end, and I gotta go by myself."

"I'm sorry, Bink," said Gadget sincerely. "We couldn't very well ask Zipper to be the usher _and_ the ring-bearer, and there simply wasn't anyone else."

The younger squirrel turned to her sister. "You said Nate has a brother..."

"_Older_ brother," Tammy reminded her, "and that's a longer story than we have time for."

Just then, a tap came from the entrance flap of the tent, followed by a familiar voice. "You girls presentable in theah?"

"We're dressed, Monty," called Gadget with a slight giggle. "Come on in."

The burly mouse pushed the tent flap aside and stepped in. He then stopped dead in his tracks, wide-eyed. "Stroike me starkers, you look absolutely beautiful... all four'a you." This elicited a blush from Gadget and giggles from Tammy and Foxglove, and even Bink cracked a small grin. Monty walked up to Gadget and took her hands in his. "Y'know, ol' Geegaw used ta talk about this day back when you were little."

"He did?" Gadget raised an eyebrow, eager to hear more.

A sad grin crossed Monty's face as he nodded. " 'e said it was a dream and a noightmare, knowin' 'ow lovely 'is little girl'd be, and at the same toime, knowin' 'e was givin' you up ta someone else." He sniffled a little as he looked into his fellow Ranger's eyes. " 'e was roight."

The bride-to-be sniffled a bit herself. "I wish he could've been here to see it."

"He is in a way, Gadget," Foxglove assured her. "We don't really lose the ones we love; they're always watching over us, and I'll bet right now, your father's looking down at you with the biggest, proudest smile in heaven."

Meanwhile, near the front of the makeshift chapel, Chip, Dale, and Nathaniel stood near their assigned marks, one far more nervously than the others. "You _sure_ you have the ring, Dale?" asked Chip for the fiftieth time. Dale wordlessly held up the smallest finger of his left hand, displaying the wedding band that would soon become Gadget's.

"And the music for the ceremony is all set?"

"You bet, Chipper!" the red-nosed chipmunk grinned. "We just need Zipper to hit 'play' when it's time; I've got _Iron Goose's Greatest Hits_ all keyed _gkkk_... Chip... kidding... leggo!"

"You know, I read somewhere that it's bad luck to kill the best man before the ceremony," Nathaniel chuckled, "especially in front of all these witnesses".

Chip released the vise grip around Dale's throat. "Sorry... I don't mean to be so touchy; I just want everything to be..."

"Perfect, we know," Dale and Nathaniel finished in unison.

"Well, how would you guys be in my shoes?"

"You're not wearing shoes; you never do."

"You know what I mean, Dale."

"Just relax," the squirrel smiled, patting the chipmunk on the back. "I've no doubt everything will go off without a hitch."

Dale laughed. "Yeah, 'cept for you an' Gadget bein' hitched."

The minister performing the ceremony, a middle-aged badger, leaned down from the podium behind the Rangers. "It's time, gentlemen."

"Thanks, Reverend Guffie," Chip nodded. He waved to Zipper to get the fly's attention, then pointed toward the portable stereo to one side of the seats. Snapping a quick salute, the fly swooped over to the device and stood on the Play button.

Chip held his breath nervously, but he needn't have worried. Rather than Iron Goose, a pretty country ballad began lilting from the speakers of the portable stereo. The attention of the audience turned to the dressing tent.

_(song lyrics omitted)_

Bink was the first to step out and make her way toward the podium. Her dress was a shade of lavender that made it appear like it could've been made from Gadget's coveralls, and she dropped small handfuls of rose petals from the basket on her arm as she walked. She accepted the occasional "Aww..." or "How cute..." with mixed emotions. She wasn't a baby any more, nearly eight years old, but she still found herself enjoying the attention.

Tammy made her entrance as the second verse of the song began. The gown she wore was the same color as Bink's, and nearly the same style, save that the shoulders weren't as flared and the neckline was a bit lower. She relished being the center of everyone's focus as she walked down the aisle, especially one person in particular. She gave Nathaniel a quick, coy smile as she turned to take her position beside her sister.

The beginning of the song's instrumental break heralded Foxglove's emergence. Her steps were cautious, ensuring that she wouldn't accidentally catch the trailing edge of one of the ribbons holding the sides of her gown closed around her wings. She stifled a small giggle; though her eyes were closed, she could still easily "see" the look on Dale's face through echosound.

As the bat reached her place, the song faded into another ballad, this one a somewhat older rock tune. Chip made a mental note to congratulate Dale on his choices as he, along with everyone else, turned his attention back to the dressing tent.

_(song lyrics omitted)_

The music pouring from the portable stereo was the only sound present as Monterey Jack stepped out; the entire assembly was awestruck by the angelic vision on his arm. Gadget appeared as if she could've come off of the cover of a bridal magazine, save for her ears and tail. Neither the lace veil in front of her face nor the makeup beneath it did much to hide her blush as she passed the rows of seats. The song faded at the end of the first chorus, Monty and Gadget stopping a few steps from the podium and turning to face each other.

The Australian mouse lifted Gadget's veil and draped it over the back of her head as Chip approached. "Congratulations, Gedjit-luv," he whispered, kissing her on the cheek, then handed her arm to Chip. The chipmunk smiled as he took his bride's arm, escorting her the last three steps to the podium.

Reverend Guffie cleared his throat and looked out over the audience. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this chipmunk and this mouse in the bonds of matrimony. A wedding is far more than rings, fancy words, and fancy clothes; it is a union, a promise two people make to stand by and support each other, no matter what. I've seen this promise made many times... perhaps more than my share." A quiet chuckle rippled through the audience. "Sadly, I've also seen many of them broken, whether by the choice of one or the other, or because the actions of one leave the other feeling that there is no other choice. As I look at this couple before me, I can see the love, devotion, and commitment they have for each other in their eyes, thus I am proud to stand before you with them."

The badger then looked down at the groom. "Charles Daniel Maplewood, Junior, will you take this female to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward? Will you love her, honor her, and cherish her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only to her, for as long as you both shall live?"

Chip suddenly found himself overwhelmed by nerves; he calmed as soon as he looked into Gadget's eyes. "I will."

"Gadget Marie Hackwrench, will you take this male to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward? Will you love him, honor him, and cherish him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only to him, for as long as you both shall live?"

Gadget smiled; she was finally saying the two words she'd looked forward to for years. "I will."

The minister nodded with a smile. "The rings, please." Foxglove pulled a gold band from her bouquet and handed it to Gadget, Dale slipping the ring from his finger and giving it to Chip. "Charles, place the ring on Gadget's finger," the badger continued, "and as you do, repeat these words: with this ring, I thee wed."

Chip's hand was trembling as he slid the ring onto Gadget's finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Gadget, place the ring on Charles's finger, and as you do, repeat these words: with this ring, I thee wed."

The mouse inventor's smile could have lit the entire city. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may..." Reverend Guffie stopped short, seeing the bride and groom already locked in a deep, tender embrace.

"I think they know this part, Padre," Foxglove giggled.

The assembled audience exploded into cheers and applause at the minister's next words. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am honored to be the first to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Chip and Gadget Maplewood."

* * *

Not long afterwards, the reception was in full swing. "Wowie, that buffet table's _huge_!" Dale smiled, nudging Monty beside him. "The dessert table's pretty big, too."

"Oi gotta admit, that caterer did good," the Aussie nodded. "Oi need ta get the recipe for that cheese soufflé."

Gadget took a sip from her water glass and looked around the table. "While we've got all of you here, Chip and I just want to say thank you; everything today has been just beautiful."

Tammy leaned forward. "Aw, Gadj, you had doubts?"

"You want an honest answer to that?" Chip snickered.

"Speakin' of which, I've still got something to do." Dale stood up and tapped his glass to get everyone's attention. "Now folks, I promised Chip I wouldn't embarrass him with this toast..." Several of the guests laughed as Dale sat back down.

He stood up again a second later. "Chipper, we've been best friends since we were kids. Even though we haven't always seen eye to eye, nothing's ever changed that, and nothing will. Gadget, I know Chip and I used to fight over you... a _lot_... but I definitely think you made the right choice." He raised his glass to his friends and fellow Rangers. "Here's to both of you; I think you're gonna have a long and happy life together."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" The dessert table suddenly overturned. Where it had stood, a fat, off-white cat faced the wedding party's table, teeth bared. "Surprise, dearie; miss me?"

Gadget's eyes went wide, a combination of shock and fear. "Kismet!"

"Glad you remembered, mousie," the cat sneered. "I certainly haven't forgotten you, considering you ruined the best set-up I ever had. Of course, this time, Cosgrove and his toys aren't here to save your sorry tail, but just to make sure, I've got some insurance. After all, what's a wedding reception without a little..."

"Entertainment!" The buffet table went flying next, revealing why it had been so large: it had been concealing an alligator in a theatrical cape. "You didn't really think that I wouldn't seek revenge against you Rangers for spoiling my big debut, did you?"

"Sewernose de Bergerac!" Chip's jaw dropped. "How the heck did you get here?!"

"You mean you haven't figured it out?" Sewernose smirked. "I was under the understanding that you were the smart one."

Kismet shook her head. "Nah, the blushing bride there has all of 'em beat in the IQ department, but since she hasn't caught on either, I'll tell you: we work for the caterer."

"That would be me." A female chipmunk sauntered forward between the pair, leaving Chip and Dale both dumbfounded.

Gadget arched an eyebrow. "Who are you?"

An evil grin crept into the chipmunk's features. "Surely the boys told you that you're not the first girl they ever fought over." She glanced at the chipmunk Rangers and her grin grew wider. "However, as the two of them seem to be speechless, I guess I'll have to introduce myself. I'm Clarice Ashton."

Monty thought a moment. "Ashton... now where've oi heard that name before?"

"She was a lounge singer years back," Chip explained, having recovered from his shock, "before we formed the Rangers".

"That's not all she was," Dale scowled.

"He's right, for once," Clarice smirked. "I think 'two-timing tramp' was one of the nicer descriptions. You see, unlike little Miss Goody Two-Shoes here, I used to play 'em off each other, along with a few others. We won't go into what _they_ got out of the deal..." Chip and Dale both blushed under the curious looks they got from Gadget and Foxglove.

"Sadly, all that went down the drain," the chipmunk continued, "when they found out about the gambling operation I was running in the back of the club. The boys always did have far too much of an honest streak for my liking. When I refused to turn myself in, they not only dumped me, they _reported_ me."

"It was the least we could do," Chip snarled. "Unfortunately, she'd bailed out by the time the authorities arrived."

"No way I was going to jail because of you two," said Clarice, giving the Rangers' leader a dirty look. "I've spent the years since on the run, hiding where I could and building up my power base when I was able... and keeping track of you boys and your friends."

She glanced up at Sewernose and Kismet. "Finding these two helped dramatically. A chipmunk with a cat bodyguard isn't that big of a deal; a cat and an alligator on the payroll is quite another matter. In fact, their services have proved indispensable, first allowing me to set up my little catering operation as a front for money laundering for some of the biggest crime bosses in the city."

"What does all this have to do with us?" asked Gadget.

"All of you? Nothing, really." Clarice folded her arms in front of her, leaning against Kismet's leg. "You just made the mistake of hooking up with the pair that ruined my life... and now, I get to return the favor. You see, once I heard about your wedding plans, I saw the perfect chance at some payback. It was actually quite easy, having these two..._convince_... the other caterers in town to refuse your business, forcing you to come to me. All I had to do then was get a front man to set things up, and I got a first-class, front row ticket... to your destruction."

Monty cracked his knuckles. "If oi evah get moi hands on that raccoon, oi'll..."

The chipmunk laughed. "RJ? Oh please, he was as clueless as you were. All he knew was that he was supposed to get this job from you and not let on who was actually running things. Now, down to business."

"Yeah, we've got a little show for you," Kismet grinned.

"With your kind indulgence, we present a tragedy of our own creation," the alligator rubbed his hands together expectantly. "We call it, _Rangers' Last Stand_!"

The Rangers stood firm, ready to face the advancing trio. "Now hold on just a minute," came a voice from behind the villains. Darby Spree was now on his feet, along with several others. "Sure'n ye devils dinnae think ye could just waltz in here an' threaten the Rangers with so many folk about what owes 'em favors."

"Aye," snarled Jolly Roger, drawing the rodent-sized cutlass from his sash. "Why, there's not a swab here what hasn't been helped by the Rangers in the past. Now it's _our_ turn ta help _them_! _HAVE AT 'EM, ME HEARTIES!_"

Several of the wedding guests rushed the party crashers, rallying to the pi-rat's call. Even numbers, though, could not overcome the sheer size of Sewernose. A single swipe of his massive tail scattered several of the would-be defenders, leprechaun magic allowing Darby to vanish repeatedly to avoid his snapping jaws. "Drat you, stay still so I can eat you!"

"Not on yuir life, ye dragon," Darby called, vanishing yet again. "Or mine, for that matter..." He appeared beside Jolly Roger. "Blast that beast, if'n I dinnae have ta keep dodgin' him, I could zap him into the sewer wit me magic."

"Aha, a double feature!" Sewernose grinned, licking his chops. Before he could lunge, however, a boomerang seemingly from nowhere cracked the alligator in the side of the head, disorienting him. He was only stunned for a moment, but it was long enough for an opossum to drop from a nearby branch, wrapping her tail around the reptile's mouth and holding it closed.

"I don't know how long I can hold him!" the opossum called from her dubious perch.

"T'is long enough, lassie!" Darby cracked his knuckles, then raised both hands over his head. An instant later, a yawning chasm opened beneath Sewernose, emitting the obvious stench of the sewer. The alligator yelped as gravity claimed him, the hole closing again a split-second after the opossum jumped clear.

Meanwhile, Kismet had her paws full, fending off dive-bomb attacks from Chirp-Sing and Midge. After several missed swipes, a new movement at the edge of her vision caught her attention. She turned to face a lone gypsy moth. "Oh, now what?"

Cassandra smiled at the feline. "I just wanted you to know that I have seen a shocking development in your future." Behind Kismet, Sparky and Buzz winked at each other, then grabbed hands and touched her at the same time, sending the cat straight into the air amid yowls and electrical crackling.

She landed in even worse conditions, namely at the center of four snarling dogs. "So what're we waitin' for?" McDuff grinned.

"She may be a cat and a villain," Flash sighed, "but she's still a she; I'm kind'a stuck."

"Dash, he has a point," Plato growled. "I, too, make it a point to not attack a female."

Canina's lips pulled back into a wicked smile. "I don't." She then pounced, becoming little more than a cloud of dust with the occasional flash of fur.

"Golly, they did it," smiled Gadget.

"Yeah," Chip nodded. "Two down, but where's...?" The chipmunk's question was cut off by a yelp from his bride.

"Stay back, all of you!" Clarice snarled, holding Gadget in front of her with a knife at the mouse inventor's throat. "Anybody takes even one step closer, or the bat, the green munchkin, or the squirrel in the tux so much as twitch, and Chip'll be a widower before he even gets to the honeymoon."

"Wot da we do now, Chippah?" asked Monty.

"Don't sweat it, Rangers," a raccoon a short way back told them, resting a boomerang against his shoulder. "This show ain't over yet."

"Actually, you're right, RJ," the female chipmunk sneered. "Sure, she'd be useful to cover my getaway, but I think it'd be better to let you watch me turn the blushing bride into a _corpse_ bride!"

"That wasn't quite what I meant..."

"What a sha... huh?" A blur flashed in front of Clarice, and she suddenly found her weapon missing. A second blur, and her hostage was nowhere to be found. The blur returned once more, circling the chipmunk several times. She was wrapped from neck to ankles in twine when it finally stopped, revealed to be an unbelievably fast red squirrel who was now leaning against her.

"How'd I do, RJ?" asked the squirrel.

"Beautiful, Hammy," RJ smiled, stepping forward. "There's a box of Smackeroons waitin' for ya at home for this one."

Tammy scratched her head. "Wait a minute, first you help her get to us, then you help catch her?"

"Well sure," the raccoon shrugged. "Once I realized she was up to no good, I couldn't just stand by and let her get away with it, so I rustled up a couple of my extended family to help shut her down. I would've sabotaged her plan sooner, but I left the shop shortly after you did, and I didn't have a way back in."

Nathaniel arched an eyebrow. "Well then how did you know where the reception was?"

"Oi think oi know," said Monty, looking toward the opossum that had helped with Sewernose.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Heather blushed slightly. "While you were talking to me, RJ was across the street copying down the address."

"I, for one, am glad for the help," Chip smiled, taking Gadget's hand in his. "I don't think we Rangers could've taken all three of them at once. Because of all of you, I still have a wife."

"It was nothin' a'tall, me bucko," Jolly Roger nodded. "Just balancin' the scales, as it were. What's more, we may yet be able to salvage some'a the food."

"I guess there's just one thing left, then," Dale ran off and righted the portable stereo, then hit the play button. A melodic rock ballad issued forth from the slightly damaged speakers. "The newlyweds' first dance as husband and wife," he finished with a grin. The crowd cleared an area of the previous chaos, and Chip led Gadget into the center, sighing happily as he took her in his arms. The two moved as one as they swayed to the music.

_Say you'll be there_

_For me to hold through the cold dark night_

_Say you'll be there_

_When I need two arms to squeeze me tight_

_Say you'll be there_

_Through any kind of weather_

_Say you'll be there until_

_The end of forever..._

**END**

**SONGS** (_in order of appearance_)

Lonestar: _Amazed_

Firehouse: _Love of a Lifetime_

Neal Wolf: _End of Forever_


End file.
